Have No Fear

It has been ages since I last update here. Long story short (because people would already know by now), I left campus due to the throbbing backaches I've been suffering from lately. Of course, there are some personal reasons which are, well, personal. So no dough on that.

I stayed for one more night in campus for the sake of my DMCE classmates. It appears that ever since I announced my leave in one public speaking class, which was initially scheduled after Raya, they have been so kind to collect RM10 from everyone, just to bid me a special farewell. Since we have entered the fasting season for my fellow Muslim friends, I joined them with buka puasa on August 24th. And Stol was dear enough to drive and buy us a set of KFC each :D

Well, long story shorter (lolx), I was sad that night since I won't be seeing my classmates again (anytime soon) and I must say, I love them above all the other students in campus! In general, really - no personal preferences referred. Seeing how it has always been too many words trying to elaborate about such an occasion, and how that people actually have short attention span when it comes to reading very long posts, a series of pictures should do the trick, no?

L-R: Farah, Lilo (class rep.) & Kela

L-R: Myra, Bel & Id

L-R: Mia, Mar & Ina

L-R: Mimi & Ain

L-R: Tilap, Gotam & Samak

L-R: Fizi, Anysz & Zainal

L-R: Stol, Dan (asst.class rep.), Kori & Afiff

L-R: Ben, Polan, Fir & Max

Well, as far as I am concerned, they are pretty much the class clowns, all of them - which make the study process easier because DMCE is one class (and kind of proud of it) that really rocks. Seriously. They just can't keep quite. I'm not very good with speeches but I can say this:

Thank you for the memories

I wish you all the very best for everything. I'm proud of you all and most of all, I'm glad I've come to know each and everyone of you :D (I might do another update on you all later on. Not now. Maybe later. Ciao!)

G.I.F.T. Camp

Guilty as charged for abandoning my blog - or am I? I guess I was just too busy contemplating on things most people might say is useless to think about at this stage of life - the stage of life where, how do you say it, girls just want to have fun? Oh well. It's not like you, my readers, don't know me...

I stayed in the city last weekend for the Gift Camp in Sacred Heart Canossian Convent, near DP. Here's a confession: I don't really know why but I was eager to sign up as the committee when Kath asked if I could join them. Knowing myself well, I wasn't that *kind* to children. I mean, I used to hate them, mind you. I often wondered how anyone can stand being around the noisy bunch. That was before. Not anymore now.

Okay ~ back to the event, I actually had fun esp. during the sing-along sessions. I love music and songs are the reason why I agree to follow my sister for prayer meetings on Fridays back home, although I'm not really into the whole pray-over thingy. It's just not my...field. And again, I feel pretty much alive with my own people. Of course, I don't mind mingling with all my WM friends but seriously, when you gather with your own people, it feels much more at home - and home is where I'll always want to be...

Let me simply summarize the camp for you:

July 31st, 2009
Friday
I left campus around at 10.00am, right after my IDA class and arrived in MC around 1.00pm. Kath was there at the same time, after sending her friend off so naturally, I followed her home. Rested at her house and headed off to the convent with Renna and See Ni around 4.30pm. They were going to help us as well with the sing-along. We arrived at the convent a little earlier than Harry and team. When I first saw the kids, I thought, "Oh my, what am I to do with all of them?" and "Why am I here again?"

Seeing how I am kind of fond with children lately (oh, I assure you, this has nothing to do with someone in particular), I was hoping that everything will go as planned. Of course, the first sing-along was a bit awkward but I got into the mood soon enough.

The best thing that happened tonight was the river cruise. I kept it cool but I was actually a bit excited, just like the children because, well, it's a river cruise and seeing all those lamp lights in the night was, shall I say, romantic. It was indeed. Bring your partner the next time you come down to Malacca and take the river cruise at night NOT during the day. Trust me. You'll get disappointed if you went for it in the daylight. Don't say I didn't warn you.

After all that, it was time for us to go back to the convent where the children watched "Monster House" before they were sent off to bed - which they didn't do because they were so noisy and wouldn't sleep until 2.00am the next morning! Sheesh! I wouldn't mind if they were babies... Kath and I had to sleep in the hall with them while their teachers, Gloria and (also) Kath slept in the other room. The sisters Clara and Lucy slept upstairs while Harry and his team went back. Well, Kath and I had to get up a few times and told them off for misbehaving, instead of sleeping when they should be.

August 1st, 2009
Saturday
The bell rang at 6.30am and off we were to St. Paul's hill around 7.00am+. Fresh morning air feels so good! And the moon's silhouette was red. So the day resumed with more sing-along after that, meal times, games and clearing up. We unexpectedly ended early. It was really fun actually, the camp. So we get to go home early :D which makes me happy 'cause I only had four hours of sleep and sooner or later, I might be grumpy, which is not good at all.

Today was also the first time I rode a motorcycle and frankly, I was a bit scared. Since Kath was with Harry, I followed TJ and seriously, I was scared. Dad never allowed us to ride a motorcycle and mom definitely won't allow it so yeah, imagine that. But to have the wind in your face was a bit fun...still it doesn't make me want to have a bike of my own someday.

As far as I'm concerned, the camp was fun despite of the rumours I heard among the children, which makes me uncomfortable. I mean, if they're doing that at their age, what are they going to do when they're my age?? Sheesh! Still, I'd like to thank Kath for bringing me to the camp and the sisters Clara and Lucy, teachers Gloria and Kath, Harry, Tj, Alec, Louisa and her sister Winnie for making the camp a fun event. And to TJ esp. for most of the photos when I was too busy with the sing-along :)

So here are some of the children I mostly spent my time with throughout the camp:

According to order: 1) Jessica - the cute one (2) Richard - the shy one (3) Angel - my dear helper and (4) Kerrick - the cute, active kid :D

Like You Do

WARNING: The following entry is personal. If you haven't read Live, Love, Whatever before it was privatized, than you definitely will be confused, esp. about Gabriel, Luc and Dean. And maybe about everything else down this paragraph here. My apologies but I still have my keys and it is unlikely that I will be throwing each and every one of them.

There are times when I am so depressed and I don't even know it. And it is at times as such that the colours fade away; once again I am but a person of Indifference, walking about in this small, small world. It is at times as such where I don't even know what I am feeling towards everyone, anyone for all that I care.

My dear blog makes a great example! Since my return to campus, I seemed to have lost the want to blog. Well, blogging is not what I want really...it is something that I need. It is a platform for something that satisfy both my want and my need - writing.

I need to write something. I need to let my heart speak and my mind argue. I need to free my soul from worldly chains. Recent dealings made me vulnerable once again. Suddenly everything seems dim. Suddenly everything seems distant. Suddenly it feels as if I can't reach a certain someone...it should hurt so much, right? But I'm not bleeding. It hurts yet I'm not bleeding...

The Muse is still on strike. She won't talk to me until I settle everything else so that she could breath again. She demands her space. Worst, Gabriel is not around. I must have done something so wrong that my Guardian couldn't bear being around me... Annoyingly enough, even Luc and Dean are not here. Now this, it really hurts. These three were, are and always will be my precious Guardians. If even Gabe isn't here...I'm speechless.

I was in Johor last weekend, for MJCC meeting. There and then, upon seeing my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I feel so much alive. Refreshed. I must say, being around them brings out the joyous feeling inside me - as a Christian, a Catholic. It was a tiring journey to and fro but it didn't really bother me so much for me to tell myself I'm not going next time. I am. I want to.

When he called me last Sunday, I realized I was really depressed all this while. My 19th birthday was an eye-opener, in many ways. I know that I can't really change myself, at least not everything. I am still me. I still can't trust just about anyone except those I would feel an amazing chemistry with. Not the typical boy-girl chemistry but that of friendship. And I realized that one can love too much...as this is a family blog, I see no point for further elaboration.

For one thing that I am certainly certain of, I know...

...I am still madly, deeply in love and there's no way I can simply slap myself and say, "Nothing happened. Shut your eyes. Forget it. Let it be. Quit it. Stop. Leave. Just go."

It's too late for that now. I can't pretend it is nothing when I know very well what it is. I can't turn back and start over or simply move on, just with a snap of the fingers, no.

Gabe, I know you're reading this somewhere, wherever you are so...my dear Guardian, please, I need to hear you once more. I need your voice once more. I need you to tell me that everything will be alright.

Destination Life

The things that keep you going for so far will remain the things that keep you going, no matter what changes.

Do What I Can Do

Blimey! I haven't post anything yet since Saturday? Unbelievable! Well, actually, you can believe it...this is so like me, coming now and then with my updates and suddenly, poof! I am a silent blogger once again - kind of.

Hmm...let's recap the things I've done so far. Last Saturday, I went to watch Half Blood Prince in DP. Out of the two places here downtown, I prefer the GSC in DP as compared to that in MP. It's like going to the GSC in 1B and the old one, near Cathay. But of course, if they have Cathay here, forget GSC, I would have gone to the former. Okay, so my classmate, Anysz gave me his tickets to the movies because he was going back to JB, thanks to the influenza thing - but we (Tijan and I) didn't make it in time so we brought tickets to the next show. HBP barely started when we entered the hall.

Now on with the movie...as an avid reader of the series, I, of course, have my own expectations for the movie and as someone who has watched movie adaptations right from the first one, the Philosopher's Stone, I too, know that there will be a bit of disappointment. I know we can't expect the movie to play exactly like the novel, which would be crazy enough and budget-breaking.

So there's the love thing between Ron "Won-won" and Lavender which sparkles up Hermione's jealousy and Harry's on Ginny and Dean Thomas' affection with each other. With Voldermort on the move, I find it reassuring that they could still fall in love with one another - but then again, don't we all? It's just that, Lavender cheated! It was so unfair of her to use Love Potion on Ron (come to think of it, I wonder if I can brew one myself...you never know when it's gonna' be handy..ah, forget it!).

And Draco (oh, Draco) was pretty emotional in this movie. Won't you be if the Dark Lord chose you to take your father's place - your father who has failed him and he picked you to finish his job, just to have fun, knowing that you don't really have the guts to do real evil? Well-thought, Voldy! But Draco's pretty skinny and lanky in HBP, while Harry and Ron seemed to be a bit "tougher".

I was, of course, awaiting Snape's appearance throughout the show so yeah, I got a pretty good glimpse of him. I wonder why I kind of like his character, Malfoy second and Ron third. Never seemed to be so caught on Potter.

The quidditch match was incredible! And you know what, I never said that this was going to be a review so enough said. It's better if you watch the movie yourself and then splurge out your comments & critiques on it. I wanted to see Dumbledore's funeral because in the book, it was really grand and I wanted to watch it but then again, like I mentioned above, that would be budget-breaking.

I left the hall quite satisfied and looking forward to watch the final movie which will be a two-parter, each taking about 2 - 2 1/2 hours. The first part is aimed for release November 2010 and the second part, the November after. And this time, I must admit, I really am anticipating it. Someone give me a time machine please!

On second thought, never mind...

Free Week, Eh?

Guess everyone heard about my campus and its affairs with H1N1...yeah, people back home surely did. And then come all sorts of questions...Well, at least I am happy to say that for the week - yes, no classes, no lectures for ONE DAMN WEEK (and probably hell after that) - I'm staying at Kath's house downtown. Met her housemates and so far, they're really nice. Being downtown, I can't complain much, you see.

If my campus was downtown and I were to rent a house somewhere nearby, I would be happy and probably, lose a bit of my homesickness, say, 5%? I don't mind sitting at Starbucks and surfing the whole day long :) That should be a compliment to them, mind you.

Here, I can't really use my broadband 'cause the coverage ain't pretty good but they do have wireless so yeah, I'll probably get up early everyday and surf while they're still asleep la... Out of respect, yes. And shower in the morning. And find some place to feed myself off, yes.

Oh, did I mention quite recently how I miss THAT particular someone?

...'cause I really do...bite me!

Funny Little World

I'm back in campus and today marks the third day. H1N1 is certainly sparkling things up around here. I'm just grateful I don't have CO today, thanks to the flu.

Know what? I guess I'll pretty much spend more time either alone or with my textbooks this semester. Of course, the notebook won't be abandoned. What more, I brought colour pencils from home and a sketchpad so that should pretty much satisfy my Muse. She's been haunting me. Talking about my Muse, I think my courses for this semester would keep her in place.

Like I said before, I'm glad to see my classmates again because they make campus life less dull. I'm not really excited with my new roommates. One of them was a former roommate that I really click with last semester. The other two are juniors. One of them likes anime! I guess I can get along with her. The other one is a bit reserved...the annoying way. And I ended up calling "him" to complain about it...which reminds me really, I miss him...

My lecturers are all okay. They seemed great. Campus is a bit overcrowded now, what with the first intake students roaming about. If you know me, you certainly know that I'm not fond of large crowds. They really are suffocating me. No, I don't have agoraphobia. I don't fear. I just don't like it. Here. I don't. I like crowds, when they are my friends or family. I am a rather sociable person. The more we gather, the better. But here? No, thank you.

You might not believe this is coming from me (but then again, it is so obvious)...I want to go home. Especially since that someone isn't here with me in person, which is kind of hard. Imagining life without that someone is unthinkable...no, I'm not expecting too much (am I?). I'm just, you know, after all this while, I actually care for someone other than myself and that particular someone makes me care about others other than myself...yes, truth to be told, I only love myself before. Talk about being snobbish haha :)

And now, I like kids. I hate them before.

There you go, another random rambling.

Now This is Not Exciting

Exactly at noon today, which is surprisingly 15 minutes earlier than our scheduled arrival, yours truly is officially in KL now. And as I can see it, the masked-people has invaded Earth. But not really in M'sia. Most of us still walk freely as if the influenza thing never really happened. Got me thinking, are we either ignorant of the fact or immune to to it? Maybe a little bit of both, no?

Dad decided to take the bus instead of the cab. It's way cheaper after all and I don't have to hear the driver blab, which is a bonus. I can't wait to meet my classmates next week but frankly, that's the only reason I don't mind going back to campus. Come to think of it, that's the only appropriate reason for me to come back, that and some other personal ones like someone telling me that I should complete my studies for maybe a little more secure future. Hey, giving up is so not in my life dictionary - although I may complain much about this and that and whatsoever anything else.

What?

I have a life to attend to. Education is just one of the keys I need. And as far as I'm concerned, I don't have any problem with it. I'm starting to miss home already...

What am I to do in the next couple of hours, I have no idea. Stuck in the airport W/O STREAMYX is a total hell!

See Through

Dear blog,

I'm sorry I've neglected you for a while. I didn't mean to just leave you like that. It's just that...I am rather busy of late. Perhaps the thought of heading back to campus is haunting me. Tormenting me. There are so many things I want to say to him but I just can't. It's really hard for me.

Blog,

Excuse me for a little longer. I won't abandon you like I did the others (well, not really). I just need to settle something so that my soul will be at peace (on second thought, forget it)...

Yours truly

Okay! Enough with all the mushy crap! It is true that I've been quite busy recently, thanks to me procrastinating. And yeah, I seriously do hate the cunning fact that I've to go back to campus in order to earn my life in the near future...sheesh! I want to stay at home because it's where my heart is.

Oh well.

Anyway, most of my high school friends are in the WM. Does not make much difference though 'cause as much as I want to spend time with them, I can't. Double sheesh on that.

Memories Were Meant to be Kept

...most of the time.

The Sunday school staffs of SHCI decided to go for an outing with their families after the communion week. They do deserved it because the feast day celebration was good. Now, what I'm about to say is not something to be proud of really, but it seems that my people have a knack of doing things at the very last minute and we actually do well at it! But hush! Don't tell them I say that :)

So anyway, we went to the Crocker Range Reserved something (I don't really know what it's called. Heh.) yesterday, after mass. I decided to bring one of my students (former, really, because they are now in a different class), Audrey who is also my niece. Well, everyone's related in Inobong, can't blame us for that. Elise will obviously be there since her mom is one of the staffs and I thought it's a good thing to let them, the two kids, have fun with each other, together with the other staffs' kids (who are also no strangers after all). Who said I don't care about them? Just because I'm stranded in Malacca for my studies doesn't mean I have to neglect my students, right?

You know what? I'd really love to blog about everything else that happened yesterday but then again, they are just too precious to actually blog about. Yeah, I'm stingy but hey, go figure. Yesterday was one of the happiest days in my life so far.

Why, you ask?

Think lar ~

*wink*

Oh, by the way, happy birthday to Jon2! Thanks for paying off my first sem! Hey, I got into the Dean's list so every cent was worth it...

Down, Down That Walk Again

There is no excuse for the lack of updates lately because I am at home and as everyone knows it, the connection is pretty damn good! The only possible excuses I can think of would be either I am too lazy to update at the moment or I am busy with Life, of which I'd gladly pick out the latter.

The current buzz? Jacko's dead. Who would have thought that the day will come? Well, of course there's the time for everyone but this early? I don't think the world was ready to part with the King of Pop...and do I actually care? Nah. Jacko doesn't know me, and I, him. It's just a pity that one of the world's icons has gone to rest and join the departed others.

Anyways, what have I been up to recently? What was it that got me so attached to real life that I temporarily forgot about my darling blog? I guess I got caught up too much in mourning my soon-to-come departure...yes, once again, I will allow myself to be eaten by that lifeless metal of a bird so that it carries me over the South China Sea, a trip I'm never looking forward to. Bummer. Who's ever so eager to leave home sweet home? (I was, in the first place...) I have successfully proven myself wrong. There!

I went to 818 restaurant in town last Monday for a dinner with my high school friends. Frankly, I miss them loads! Everyone looked so grown up now and I got to know two pairs of love birds - one of them being my very own cousin, Maya. As always, a picture is worth a thousand words so feast yourselves.

Going home was an extra boost of happiness :) I miss all my friends. How can I not be? I may be quite sociable but as I've always said, I'm my own irony. I love meeting new people and build my acquaintanceship circles up but in reality, I can live my entire life with just these few but cherished friends of mine. It is true what they say, nothing beats high school!

With loads of xoxo to my friends :) Love you lots and thanks for the wonderful time!

Fake Smiles and Lies

In the uttermost confession of yours truly, truly this blog serves as a darling mask I seem to never be able to take off. Of course, this is a family blog, as I say it and therefore, only certain pieces would be written down here. Don't blame me for that.

So I've been taking quizzes all over the Net and I keep getting Love-related results which ironically, seem a bit far-fetched. They do portray the reality of being me however but I realized lately that apart from my Victorian romancer self, there is still a part of me dreaming of dragons and elves. Sue Mr Disney for the failure to educate me as a typical princess-kind-of-girl who dreams of Prince Charming and a happily ever after with a snap of the fingers or a wave of the fairy Godmother's wand.

I dream of dragons and elves and drows and necromancers. Wizards and all. Angels and demons. Michael and Lucifer. I dream of myself in continuous dreams some people call insane. Crazy. I don't aim for the richer half of life but the simple, quiet yet happy life. I don't dream of adventures. I dream of family outings and fun. I don't dream of making it big. I dream of big hearts in the family. I dream differently and people say I'm cold, sarcastic - just the way I want them to.

So I'm in love. Yes. Deeply in love. It's obvious. Yes. Kinda dreamy. Yes. Kinda impossible. Yes. Certainly not a fairytale kind of romance. Yes.

But I need to write something! Anything! For goodness sake, let me! The feeling's just overwhelming and it's building up tension within me, fueling an already dormant tension...Love, love, love - a blessing, a curse, or both. I can't live without it but it's killing my spirit.

The worst part of it?

I love being in love with the man I'm currently in love with.....

There!

Period.

A confession.

A secret.

My own.

The hardest thing about life is that those simple things are really not so simple after all. It's much easier to live a rich life, do the things you want to do with all the cash and party hard.

It's the hardest to say, with the current life you're living, that you are perfectly content, satisfied and happy.

I'm human after all, just like everyone else.

Life could be better.

But I wouldn't dream of it any other way.

SHC Feast Day cum 1st Holy Communion 09

Mass celebration: Sacred Heart Church Inobong

Time: 6.00pm ++
Communicants' follow-up reception: ICCC Hall
Celebrant: Fr. Alex Sipanul :)

Friday 19th, 2009 - yesterday will be one of the many dates I'd remember in my life. I mean, why not? Three of my Sunday school students received their 1st Holy Communion last night, which is something I must say, I am very proud of. The downside of it was that I can't really get into the mood of singing with the choir because of my hoarse voice...of all the ministries serving the Church, I'm really fond of the music ministry (although somehow I seem to take a little interest in the Altar servers :p).

So, when I can't sing with the choir, I'm really grumpy...

I really love the sunset lighting yesterday eve but frankly, I was distracted, as usual :)

Two of the three students I taught last year, Elise and Sam. Audrey went home earlier...but I did get a photo of her receiving her Communion cert.

Well, at least those are the other highlights of the day. What was it that made me really happy? Go figure. Warmest congratulations to the communicants and their teachers :D God bless.

That Urge Again

I thirst for it...

I hunger for it...

I yearn for it to devour me completely...

Lately, my Muse began to put up a strike against me. It wasn't intended to keep her off from working but I just didn't have the right platform (I think...) - and now, she's on strike. If she preferred to hold her piece, it might be some help. Instead, she decided for the other way round...

Frankly I say, "I want to write! Something! Anything! Let me write!"

Well, yeah, who's stopping me?

...

.....

.......

Myself? Yeah, kind of. Time to open a new document.

Entry # 44

Urgh.

I hate my first days of menses. I feel weak in the knees, literally. Very.

Drats.

Celebrating Father's Day

It seems to me that it is becoming a habit to have the families gather at home. Since I came back from the WM, we had 3 so-called gatherings. Imagine last year! As I've mentioned earlier, I love having everyone around...

Last night's was for Father's Day and supposedly celebrating the birthday folks of June. This time, cousins Phil and Geoffrey came with their families. Mr & Mrs Uncle Denis came too. Preparing for it was a bit hard because we were babysitting Didun and Nyonnyon + I was sick, coughing a lot now and then. That wouldn't be very pleasing right...Luckily, my aunt's family came early so yeah, they helped around! Thanks!

In the end, everything went as planned (I think), with them reminiscing about their pasts as usual, watching muvees and laughing all night long...

But in truth, there's still something missing from it all... I don't know what it is but it sure made me vow to myself that I will keep having gatherings when I can till that "missing" part is found. Talking about missing, G couldn't come tonight again because he was busy doing his reports. I don't mind 'cause I know him well enough to sulk about it. I just kinda' wished I had the guts to fetch his dad so he could join us...

I miss you, you idiot! If only I can say that to his face it might make me feel much better...sometimes he's just so clueless when I really wish he would be there with all of us but then again, maybe he really does know me so well, too well that he actually knows the harder he plays around with me, the harder I fall for him...guess that's how his saying "I won't be there when you want me to be but only when you do need me" goes. Another lesson reminded. I need to keep asking myself, "Why him???" Drats...

...because I love the very air of having everyone around. I love my family!

And They Say Songs are Stories Sung

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
- Only so much oil in the ground (Stefanie Heinzmann) That's something I surely would say, kinda sarcastic but you get my point

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
- My turn (Hoobastank's For (N)ever) Turn for what exactly?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
- Forever (Milk Inc.) Now this one, I agree with. I want a "forever" with a guy *wink*

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
- Love lies bleeding (Basia) Love hurts huh? But I'm still alive with it :)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
- Outta here (Esmee Denters) Outta where?

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
- My one and only thrill (Melody Gardot) Guess I'm a bit random

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
- Stayed too long in this place (Barzin) Judging from the fact that I don't really spend much time with them...I think

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
- There's a new star up in heaven tonight (Chris de Burgh) :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
- Horse with no name (Neil Young) Hahaha

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
- Sailing (Christopher Cross) Calm and collected on the seas of Life!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
- The way you are (Zap Mama) As I should always be - and you too!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
- Tears in heaven (Eric Clapton) One way ticket to heaven, please :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
- One of us (Sylver) "Us"?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
- All about you (Hoobastank) Aww ~

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
- La chitta digli occhi neri (Corde Oblique) ...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
- Recreation (Zap Mama) Recreate what?

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
- Picking up pieces (Blue October) ...of my past...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
- Me follow you (Van Velzen) wherever you will go :)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
- If I don't love you now (Stefanie Heizmann) I'll never know Life, right dear?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIEND?
- Live her life (Milk Inc.) My friends have awesome lives! XD

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
- After the love has gone (Earth, Wind and Fire) ...which is like, urmm, never?

Small World

Since yours truly don't really read the newspapers, I've decided to educate myself on world issues online, as always. Somehow I tend to surf news websites for random readings lately. In fact, I do random web-hopping, blogs included. But I manage to fight the temptation of bookmarking every single page I seem to like at the mo.

What caught my attention of late is the infamous swine flu or as any typical human brain knows it for it's scientific abbreviation, H1N1 - which is now declared as the first pandemic of the 21st century, as according to Dr Chan. (Beat that! I actually read the news, doesn't matter if it's online or not.)

Now then, with the knowledge bestowed upon me, allow me to actually enlighten myself (and some of you folks perhaps) about the pandemic flu:

1. It's Swine Influenza actually, H1N1 is just one of the four virus subtypes of influenza type A (H1N1, H1N2, H3N2, H3N1).
2. Common cases are due to exposure to infected pigs, naturally, or from one person spreading it to others.
3. Symptoms include fever, lethargy, lack of appetite and coughing. Some people with swine flu also have reported runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.
4. When you're being too close with infected pigs, you might catch it. If you touch any infected stuffs and then touching your nose or mouth after, you might catch it. Eating pork won't give it to you, provided that you cook it first! (As any sane human would...)

Okay ~ I'm done with that. Some news for vain Facebook users (including moi), we will soon be able to have our own FB URLs! Now isn't that a bliss? Oh well ~ and what more? I got 3.82 for my first semester, which I think is really good, judging from the fact that I never *really studied* throughout the semester. Therefore, I'd like to thank my brothers for getting me "Ryan the laptop", the Celcom broadband so I won't die of boredom, my family for going on Skype with me EVERY week and G, for being there for me (through SMSes) almost everyday.

They keep me sane and my brain active, not rotting away.

Hah!

Of Two Rings and...Simplex??? (cont.)

The highlight of yesterday was cousin Diana's wedding reception:-

Date: June 6th 2009, SAT
Venue: Royal China Restaurant (above D'Junction)
Time: 7.00 PM ++

I was both eager and not-so-eager. Eager because there's more opportunity to snap some photos and not-so-eager because the deadline for the linear programming task is creeping in. In fact, I need to finish it today. I can certainly use a miracle right now.

Back to the wedding reception, it was simply AMAZING! Can I have one like it - pretty please with sugared cherry on top? Although the food was a bit disappointing since I wanted those cold longan desert... Beggars can't be choosers though so I was grateful that I had something to eat anyway. My name wasn't on the list in the first place because no one expected me to be home for the occasion - which is why next time I'm coming home, I'm going to make a big announcement that I AM coming home!
Lolx :)

I love the couple's entry where they turned off the lights and Chinese drums played as the bride and groom walked down the aisle hand in hand, a smoky entry literally. Camera flashes made it seemed even grander. Some photos to share:

Left to right: (1) Our family's table (2) The cake made by Melvin's aunt - it was beautiful with a small fountain of glasses in the middle (3) Cutting of cake by Diana & Chung Yong


(1) Cousin Diana - she just loves that "peace" sign! (2) Lydia (the Cousin) & Alex (the Maid of Honour)


Aunt Anna, Uncle David, Diana, Chung Yong, Mr & Mrs Ong, Alex as the MC for the toast

Of course, I wasn't the only one who was eager to capture moments at the reception :) Cousins Phil and Lydia were too!

Now then, excuse me while I force my brain to solve the linear programming question...I CAN really use a miracle now, thank you ~

Of Two Rings and...Simplex???

I went to my cousin, Diana's wedding today. It was a short celebration and there weren't many people, mainly because the groom hails from the Peninsular so most of his relatives are there and our relatives are mostly working today. But the two families (the Awangs and the Gumpodos) did gather, somehow. Ono was down flu due to his tonsillitis infection while Dion, Ujang and Atan are working. So I went to the wedding with Mom, Dad, Jijit and Nyonnyon. Oh, did I mention it was short because it was in English? And the new deacon Rayner wedded the couple. He's one funny guy for a priest-to-be, which is cool actually.

Since I'm in a hurry, let me show off just some pictures...(didn't get much because I recorded some parts of the wedding).

The nuptial got me thinking - will I be standing in their place someday? If yes, who will be standing by my side and holding my hand? Will he be the one?

Or perhaps, am I bound to take down the other part of life?

P/S: To whom it concerns, if you can only read this, you might understand that I am, in no way, fooling around and should you feel or think I am not the one, do tell me ASAP because it can really hurt - and I assure you, I don't like getting hurt by something or someone I believe in...

P/P/S: If you are reading this, do ignore it please dear ~

Of two rings and SIMPLEX! Woe oh woe! I'm willing to help my primary school teacher but Maths is totally out of my league...now should be the time where I ask him if he should help me, no? I don't know what I should do with this thing called Linear Programming! Little help, please??

Secrets: Fetish

The best thing about being at home is the amazing surfing I can do, which I usually spend on downloading stuffs like e-books, movies, song albums and games. A partion of the surfing also goes to visiting social networking sites ( Facebook, MySpace sometimes and MyYearbook). Facebook however, is my daily surfing ground.

I used to take quizzes on tickle.com but it's closed now so I hang out either at Quizilla or Facebook for quizzes. And one particular quiz made me laugh - What is Your Secret Fetish? Guess what I got?

Glasses-Fetish

And immediately, one name sprung to mind. I must admit, I am into guys with glasses - even if they don't wear them all the time. But actually, who am I kidding? You know who I'm talking about, don't you?

Ah, Love - look what you've done to me. If anyone can find a remedy for this, that someone must be something!

20 Questions

WARNING: This is a tag. And as my usual tagging trademark goes, "You're tagged if you think you are." As for my answers, enjoy knowing me a little bit more than you expected *wink*. Taken from DMCE Miera (her MySpace bulletin).

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
- I'm not officially dating anyone right now which means that I'm still single; but I am also taken and at the same time I am crushing on someone, which sums up to one man. the same man. Who said Love is nothing new? It's a new day for me everyday, as long as he and I breathe Life :)

2) Are you happy with where you are?
- I am literally happy being at home. I am also happy with where I am in Life. Hopefully things will get better 'cause they could be. Then again, I am content with how things are now though some minor improvements are most welcome and will be appreciated.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
- Fast? I won't even know what hit me if he is the right person.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
- Perhaps...yes. Of course.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
- Cheating in games to pass a certain level or to survive a zombie invasion, yes. Cheating in real-life, dangerous situations to save your life or any beloved's, yes. Cheating when it comes to money matters, don't. Cheating on your partner? Don't even think of it. You will regret it.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
- Depends on how they cheated on me. I can assure you a 99% no.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
- I would love to get married someday (but a part of me don't) so yeah, I did. Even with Mom.

8) Do you want children?
- Someday, okay? :D

9) How many?
- Between 2 and 4. 1 would make us (potential husband and I) spoil the kid and any more than 4 would need us to be able to support them financially. If the price of living drops drastically, I won't mind but judging from the world's condition now...we're not any nearer to it, are we?

10) Would you consider adoption?
- If I'm the next Jolie or Madonna, Oprah or Gates, sure! If I'm not married, sure!

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
- Just tell me.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
- I am kinda hard to get. When I'm not, I'm hard to please *wink*.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
- If I love someone, it's love. If I don't, I don't. No games.

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
- I do and some people are very, very lucky it happened to them.

15) Are you romantic?
- I sure love romance and I love the tradition of courting, plus the fact that it can be done by both men and women so yeah, I guess I am romantic.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
- I did a few times so far until someone changed me, for the better. I think I still can...

17) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
- Definitely. Always.

18) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldn't?
- Yes. Him.

19) Have you ever broken a heart?
- Kindly refer to question which asked me whether I've had mine broken, thank you.

20)What would you say to your last ex?
- We're still friends tho' I've moved on. You should too. Save the friendship.

Secrets: Epiphany

WARNING: The following entry is rated "Very Personal Stuff - VPS" by the author. If you are not into this kind of entry, please withdraw and browse through the other "normal" entries on the blog. Thank you.

"Tread carefully when we speak of matters of the heart..."

The thing about blogging is, no matter how I find it as an excuse for a space to feed my writings on, it never feed me well enough. My life@flight is supposed to be family-friendly yet after a while, here I am again - the Muse dying to come out, emotions running wild and feelings overwhelming.

I am after all, an introvert carefully disguised under the many masks of an extrovert. When people look at me, they think that I am gifted with a brilliant mind lying in dormant, born into a life so easy-going, a socialite. They see me as very ambitious, with high dreams and hopes that might possibly come true - because that is how I tell them it is. I claim to be so open-minded, true but in reality I still cherished the old, traditional thoughts. I seem to be a very laid back kind of person. I speak so too.

I speak of my wish to travel, of a vow to embrace singleness when the time comes. I speak of cash and how much I want it all. I speak of a life so amazing where miracles happen to me almost all the time. I appear matured and strong, stubborn and hard to please, hard to get.

All those fancy stuffs and yet...

Does no one really sees what I feel for?

I am after all, an introvert carefully disguised under the many masks of an extrovert. And I wait for the hands that will uncover them, one by one till there is no more.

Will he be the one?

The First Thing

The First Thing - Esmee Denters

Baby talk to me
Can you tell me honestly
Am i crazy to believe somethings wrong
i can't read your mind
Can you give me a sign
Are you thinking things over
Or do you need some more time

"...feeling the butterflies in her tummy once again." My Facebook status. Talking about my love life in my blog is a bit daunting for me. I don't know everyone who reads this, sooner or later (but hopefully never) the word might reach his ears. It's not that he doesn't know about it, 'cause he does; it's just that...sometimes being in love can seem to be the most ridiculous thing ever.

Yet who am I to deny it?

I can't just say no to something so perfectly obvious. I can't hide the simple fact overgrowing my own pride. I can't. And after a few months being away, then seeing him again...I think I lost my heart once again - to him. Or rather, it never really came back to me...Oh by the way, I actually enjoy this song :)

i got my feet on the ground
but you keep my heart in the clouds
And everyday you the first thing i think of is you
And every night i wanna kiss you i wish you were feeling it too
And every dream is all about you
Without you im lost
Baby your everything that i want

Tell me what do you feel
i need to know if this is real
Every time you close your eyes, is it me you see?
i can feel you all around me
Let me know what's it gonna be
Cause i can be all that you need

i got my feet on the ground
but you turn my world upside down
And everyday you the first thing i think of is you
And every night i wanna kiss you i wish you were feeling it too
And every dream is all about you
Without you im lost
Baby your everything that i want

it doesn't have to be this way
there's so much more that we can say
i need to know that you want me to stay
You know i wanna stay

The first thing
The last thing
i think of
is you

Hey Ho! We're 1 Big Family!

It began, once upon a time, in 2008 when a plainly bored daughter said to her mom, "Ma, I want a homemade steamboat dinner - and let's invite the cousins!"

...yes, I was sitting my ass at home all year round last year and hey, it was fun! I was babysitting my niece and I love every moment of it although I did have to sacrifice a few of my daily afternoon naps...so I did what I did - went shopping at CKS and called my closest relatives, Mom's sister and family to come one Sunday evening. Gatherings were always on Christmas back then. But I wanted something else. I wanted more gatherings because I love the very air of having everyone around, laughing and bringing up old stories, reminiscing the past when everything was safer, cleaner, more fun. We can't afford extravagant gatherings now but I'm keeping it in mind that when I have a job, I will treat them with a better gathering once in a while. Why? Because I love my family. I love to see everyone being close with one another, sharing priceless moments.

Of course, apart from my family and cousins, we would invite our neighbour, Uncle Denis and family and also G and his family *wink* Then we began to have the altar servers come because I see them as a part of the beloved and so, they should come. Besides, they're friends with my little sister anyway and actually are related to us.

There are three types of gatherings we would host at home - (1) just my family and my aunt's including Alex and Xander (2) the family, my aunt's and Uncle George's and (3) a praying gathering. I try to get G and his family involved in every gathering if possible.

Last night, we had gathering # 1 but G can't make it since his sister visited them. I miss him...and maybe that's why I wasn't really in the mood. Still, I plan to have another one with him and family, just them. And another casual gathering with the families in June :D

Till then,
-tcxo-

BFF-S ♥

It's Wednesday and typically, it's an all-girls' day out. Except that we stayed indoors today. Actually, I thought we were going to watch the anticipated Angels & Demons movie...Thankfully, I can always download it later.

There were only four of us - Drey, Lc, Gurl and I since San2 is having her exam. We watched "the Uninvited", at least a quarter of it before having breakfast cum lunch together. Drey had to leave around 1.30pm to accompany Maverick for his interview. They're such a sweet couple of four years now (and counting) ♥ Wishing Mave the best of luck for his interview! Although I don't really talk much to him, he's like family now, a brother, since I love my girls so much and they're family - literally. We are all related some way or another anyway *wink* I just tend to automatically not converse much with my girls' boyfriends out of respect for them :D

Long story short, we had fun really. Out of the blue, Gurl went like, "Yot! I wunna do a makeover on you!" And then my head went, "Oh boy, here we go again..." I don't like make-ups and not all are allowed to apply them on me 'cause I'll get defensive about it. Gurl's one of the very few who I trust enough and allow them to. So she took out her magic makeover kit - or case - whatever it is called and started to do her work.

We were talking about wavy hairs earlier and digital perms so the curler came out and my hair got a makeover too. A woman seriously has a far more complexed life than a man. I mean, all those make-ups and slacks and jeans and shirts, tops, dresses, bags, handbags, heels and the world of female accessories! Passing by them whenever I go to the malls with my friends and family is enough to give me headaches for the entire day!

I admit, I am not one who excels in those kind of expertise. I leave it all to my girls.

So, Audrey came back and we started goofing off with Gurl's Macbook (Damn! I so wanted this one - tho' I'll be satisfied with a white Compaq if they do sell one. I just love white gadgets. They're so mesmerizing - for me at least.) The Photo Booth for Mac is so fun! Of course, my YouCam is not bad either :)

Back to my hair, I do want to get it curled. Maybe after next semester as I am determined to save up money (and this time I mean it like hell). I know it's the in-trend for the Chinese and Japanese women now (or maybe like forever since they've been wearing either straight or curly hair for ages). Straight hair is elegant and curly waves? Sassy!

But I still need to do a research on it - to see whether it fits me or not. Here are some pictures after the makeover:

Here's to my girls - best friends forever ♥ and because they're sisters too. Gurl's flying to the UK today - bon voyage! Have a safe trip :D and thanks to her, Drey and Lc for the wonderful time today! Hopefully next time, San2 will be with us.

F.R.E.A.K.

If there is anything - anything I say - in this world that has successfully owned a part of my pathetic human brain, it is the ever expanding game(s) of the Sims! Well, that, and a very particular guy...of which I know won't be leaving his spot in my head/heart anytime sooner or later :P

Right from the first series I have been an avid fan of the game (all hail Will Wright!!). Back then when the Sims were in 2D, I bought every expansion packs they had in stores. Those were the days when downloading wasn't an option for a little kid...Come the second generation of the Sims, the Sims 2 was a much improved version of its predecessor, now in 3D. Again, I bought the originals and *cough cough* actually started to download a few of its latest expansions - and yes, I have them all.

What was it about the game that hooked me up? I'm not really sure because frankly, if you played it with the typical routine (create a Sim, *cheat, maximize skills, *cheat, get married, have babies, etc. yadayadayada...) it will get boring in like, 30 minutes. Still, I'm addicted (a goody confession!) to it. Of course, I don't always cheat in the game - I only do that when I'm daydreaming of my dream house.

It's a good game because:-
1 - You get to play God :D at least on the poor creatures called Sims, which is actually fun
2 - You get to pretend you're an infamous architect cum interior/exterior designer, armed with a super-advanced technology to satisfy your customers and to help you bag the cash
3 - You get to pretend you're a 5-star movie/video clip director
4 - You get to test that script stashed away for ages
5 - You get to live your own life the way YOU want it
6 - It's all about creativity!

On a personal basis however, the game gives a good peek on life. Looking from above (the PC screen), we get to see how those poor, demented creatures have to work hard to get to the top and when they do, it's about time they should retire. Time really flows. Education alone won't get you nowhere without the proper skills and vice versa. Thieves get caught. Adulterers suffer. Neighbours complain of loud music and wild parties. And there is the possibility of extraterritorial beings somewhere else in the universe...

...and then there's the Grim Reaper to take it all away.

Unless you cheated on the game.

Speaking of which, the upcoming successor, the Sims 3 will be out on June 5th 2009 and yours truly is very excited about it!

Home Sweet Home

I've been procrastinating. Again. Come to think of it, it's not that I don't want to post anything...I've very good reasons why I didn't:

1 - My notebook crashed, just a day before I board the plane last Sunday.

2 - Reason # 1 explains it all.

Some important stuffs were kept in the notebook. The 50Gb worth of MP3 albums and muvees were out of reach then, and so were some other personal, VI stuffs *cough cough*. Luckily, the brother's PC still votes in my favour. After a week of mourning and procrastinating over my notebook, I tell myself I might just as well blog. But seriously, blogging from this very PC has many temptations in store for me - I tend to be downloading instead of blogging :P

Ah, well, I'm just trying to make up for the lose.

Oh! I almost forgot! Reason # 3 for my blogging procrastination - I don't have a memory card reader (mine was crappy so I tossed it away) and am waiting for the cable from my sister just so I can download hundreds of photos from the camera to my trusty external *three cheers for the external HD for never letting me down*

P/S: To my cousin Phil, the photos you asked for are coming soon - hopefully!