And Voila! It's 2011.

2011? Seriously? What have I been doing last year that ended up with only one, bloody post for 2010? Nothing much, I guess.

As of the moment, I'm currently in my 4th semester, here in Unirazak. Knowing myself, I'm not surprise that I was not really excited when the new semester started. I was more concerned with something much more personal. Then again, I never really was excited when it comes to my studies because I know, at some point, I'll be disappointed. Sometimes it's the system, sometimes people...

Anyway, since 2007, I've been taking so much life lessons that there are times when I think I couldn't take it anymore. This year started with the passing away of a very dear family-friend. In fact, she was more like family to us. It hurts, yes. But once again, I get to feel that tint of happiness I used to feel. It's happening again. Just when I think I'm finally there, at the point of breaking it to myself, at the point of letting go, I had to fall all over again.

It's almost like the Father is telling me that He will always watch over me. Every time it happens, I feel like the Lord keeps pulling me back to Him, whispering to me that He will never let go. What better comfort is there than knowing that somehow, at least someone truly knows your heart better than you actually do and that he is always there for you? Even when you don't need him to be.

It's midterm break next week so hopefully, I'll get back on track again.

2010 - You Better Be Good

It is 2010 and I haven't been blogging for months now. Basically, it's because of the typical wordpress-blogspot debate I have been having with myself. This, finally, has been resolved when I decided that I would only blog privately in Wordpress. Yes, my Muse shall roam freely in the realms of WP. On the other hand, the ordinary, typical, 20 years old-to-be side of me will blog casually on Blogspot. Not that there's much for me to update at the moment though.

Second, so many things happened quite recently and truth to be told, I am still trying to get back on these two feet. It is so easy for me to say that I moved on for the sake of covering the tiny, white lie that says I haven't REALLY moved on. Welcome to the real world, M.

So then, 2009 is over. What's new with 2010?

Well, the last post I wrote mentioned about leaving campus. Yes, I left UiTM and I believe (as much as things has convinced me) that it was for the better. So I came home and rewind my university life back to square one - this time as a UNITAR student (or as they have recently changed it, UNIRAZAK). Things are better now that I can sleep in my own bed and see those familiar faces I couldn't back in Malacca. I do miss my former DMCE classmates though. From what I heard, UiTM AG has decided to disband the E class of my batch. My E class. And how do I feel about it? Bad. Sad. Sorry. I had good memories with the class for one and a half semesters and I wonder how they will be after this. Oh well.

My social life isn't any different. I still sit at home most of the times. I still watch movies at Cathay when I feel like it (if there's just enough money at the moment). I took a PTPTN loan. My allowance is reduced greatly - the reason being me at home now so I have free transportation to church, to campus, to anywhere else, free lodging, free food and well, almost everything. I don't need to sit at Starbucks for hours every weekend now just to surf. I babysit as usual if I have no class. I surf most of the time (there's Streamyx at home so why not?)

One thing I got from my former campus is this backache that comes and goes. Sheesh.

Apart from still feeling empty right now, everything is pretty much the same for me, which is good because I really don't like changes. Not too much, at least. General update is now finished. I'll update more later on. Till next time.

Have No Fear

It has been ages since I last update here. Long story short (because people would already know by now), I left campus due to the throbbing backaches I've been suffering from lately. Of course, there are some personal reasons which are, well, personal. So no dough on that.

I stayed for one more night in campus for the sake of my DMCE classmates. It appears that ever since I announced my leave in one public speaking class, which was initially scheduled after Raya, they have been so kind to collect RM10 from everyone, just to bid me a special farewell. Since we have entered the fasting season for my fellow Muslim friends, I joined them with buka puasa on August 24th. And Stol was dear enough to drive and buy us a set of KFC each :D

Well, long story shorter (lolx), I was sad that night since I won't be seeing my classmates again (anytime soon) and I must say, I love them above all the other students in campus! In general, really - no personal preferences referred. Seeing how it has always been too many words trying to elaborate about such an occasion, and how that people actually have short attention span when it comes to reading very long posts, a series of pictures should do the trick, no?

L-R: Farah, Lilo (class rep.) & Kela

L-R: Myra, Bel & Id

L-R: Mia, Mar & Ina

L-R: Mimi & Ain

L-R: Tilap, Gotam & Samak

L-R: Fizi, Anysz & Zainal

L-R: Stol, Dan (asst.class rep.), Kori & Afiff

L-R: Ben, Polan, Fir & Max

Well, as far as I am concerned, they are pretty much the class clowns, all of them - which make the study process easier because DMCE is one class (and kind of proud of it) that really rocks. Seriously. They just can't keep quite. I'm not very good with speeches but I can say this:

Thank you for the memories

I wish you all the very best for everything. I'm proud of you all and most of all, I'm glad I've come to know each and everyone of you :D (I might do another update on you all later on. Not now. Maybe later. Ciao!)

G.I.F.T. Camp

Guilty as charged for abandoning my blog - or am I? I guess I was just too busy contemplating on things most people might say is useless to think about at this stage of life - the stage of life where, how do you say it, girls just want to have fun? Oh well. It's not like you, my readers, don't know me...

I stayed in the city last weekend for the Gift Camp in Sacred Heart Canossian Convent, near DP. Here's a confession: I don't really know why but I was eager to sign up as the committee when Kath asked if I could join them. Knowing myself well, I wasn't that *kind* to children. I mean, I used to hate them, mind you. I often wondered how anyone can stand being around the noisy bunch. That was before. Not anymore now.

Okay ~ back to the event, I actually had fun esp. during the sing-along sessions. I love music and songs are the reason why I agree to follow my sister for prayer meetings on Fridays back home, although I'm not really into the whole pray-over thingy. It's just not my...field. And again, I feel pretty much alive with my own people. Of course, I don't mind mingling with all my WM friends but seriously, when you gather with your own people, it feels much more at home - and home is where I'll always want to be...

Let me simply summarize the camp for you:

July 31st, 2009
Friday
I left campus around at 10.00am, right after my IDA class and arrived in MC around 1.00pm. Kath was there at the same time, after sending her friend off so naturally, I followed her home. Rested at her house and headed off to the convent with Renna and See Ni around 4.30pm. They were going to help us as well with the sing-along. We arrived at the convent a little earlier than Harry and team. When I first saw the kids, I thought, "Oh my, what am I to do with all of them?" and "Why am I here again?"

Seeing how I am kind of fond with children lately (oh, I assure you, this has nothing to do with someone in particular), I was hoping that everything will go as planned. Of course, the first sing-along was a bit awkward but I got into the mood soon enough.

The best thing that happened tonight was the river cruise. I kept it cool but I was actually a bit excited, just like the children because, well, it's a river cruise and seeing all those lamp lights in the night was, shall I say, romantic. It was indeed. Bring your partner the next time you come down to Malacca and take the river cruise at night NOT during the day. Trust me. You'll get disappointed if you went for it in the daylight. Don't say I didn't warn you.

After all that, it was time for us to go back to the convent where the children watched "Monster House" before they were sent off to bed - which they didn't do because they were so noisy and wouldn't sleep until 2.00am the next morning! Sheesh! I wouldn't mind if they were babies... Kath and I had to sleep in the hall with them while their teachers, Gloria and (also) Kath slept in the other room. The sisters Clara and Lucy slept upstairs while Harry and his team went back. Well, Kath and I had to get up a few times and told them off for misbehaving, instead of sleeping when they should be.

August 1st, 2009
Saturday
The bell rang at 6.30am and off we were to St. Paul's hill around 7.00am+. Fresh morning air feels so good! And the moon's silhouette was red. So the day resumed with more sing-along after that, meal times, games and clearing up. We unexpectedly ended early. It was really fun actually, the camp. So we get to go home early :D which makes me happy 'cause I only had four hours of sleep and sooner or later, I might be grumpy, which is not good at all.

Today was also the first time I rode a motorcycle and frankly, I was a bit scared. Since Kath was with Harry, I followed TJ and seriously, I was scared. Dad never allowed us to ride a motorcycle and mom definitely won't allow it so yeah, imagine that. But to have the wind in your face was a bit fun...still it doesn't make me want to have a bike of my own someday.

As far as I'm concerned, the camp was fun despite of the rumours I heard among the children, which makes me uncomfortable. I mean, if they're doing that at their age, what are they going to do when they're my age?? Sheesh! Still, I'd like to thank Kath for bringing me to the camp and the sisters Clara and Lucy, teachers Gloria and Kath, Harry, Tj, Alec, Louisa and her sister Winnie for making the camp a fun event. And to TJ esp. for most of the photos when I was too busy with the sing-along :)

So here are some of the children I mostly spent my time with throughout the camp:

According to order: 1) Jessica - the cute one (2) Richard - the shy one (3) Angel - my dear helper and (4) Kerrick - the cute, active kid :D

Like You Do

WARNING: The following entry is personal. If you haven't read Live, Love, Whatever before it was privatized, than you definitely will be confused, esp. about Gabriel, Luc and Dean. And maybe about everything else down this paragraph here. My apologies but I still have my keys and it is unlikely that I will be throwing each and every one of them.

There are times when I am so depressed and I don't even know it. And it is at times as such that the colours fade away; once again I am but a person of Indifference, walking about in this small, small world. It is at times as such where I don't even know what I am feeling towards everyone, anyone for all that I care.

My dear blog makes a great example! Since my return to campus, I seemed to have lost the want to blog. Well, blogging is not what I want really...it is something that I need. It is a platform for something that satisfy both my want and my need - writing.

I need to write something. I need to let my heart speak and my mind argue. I need to free my soul from worldly chains. Recent dealings made me vulnerable once again. Suddenly everything seems dim. Suddenly everything seems distant. Suddenly it feels as if I can't reach a certain someone...it should hurt so much, right? But I'm not bleeding. It hurts yet I'm not bleeding...

The Muse is still on strike. She won't talk to me until I settle everything else so that she could breath again. She demands her space. Worst, Gabriel is not around. I must have done something so wrong that my Guardian couldn't bear being around me... Annoyingly enough, even Luc and Dean are not here. Now this, it really hurts. These three were, are and always will be my precious Guardians. If even Gabe isn't here...I'm speechless.

I was in Johor last weekend, for MJCC meeting. There and then, upon seeing my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I feel so much alive. Refreshed. I must say, being around them brings out the joyous feeling inside me - as a Christian, a Catholic. It was a tiring journey to and fro but it didn't really bother me so much for me to tell myself I'm not going next time. I am. I want to.

When he called me last Sunday, I realized I was really depressed all this while. My 19th birthday was an eye-opener, in many ways. I know that I can't really change myself, at least not everything. I am still me. I still can't trust just about anyone except those I would feel an amazing chemistry with. Not the typical boy-girl chemistry but that of friendship. And I realized that one can love too much...as this is a family blog, I see no point for further elaboration.

For one thing that I am certainly certain of, I know...

...I am still madly, deeply in love and there's no way I can simply slap myself and say, "Nothing happened. Shut your eyes. Forget it. Let it be. Quit it. Stop. Leave. Just go."

It's too late for that now. I can't pretend it is nothing when I know very well what it is. I can't turn back and start over or simply move on, just with a snap of the fingers, no.

Gabe, I know you're reading this somewhere, wherever you are so...my dear Guardian, please, I need to hear you once more. I need your voice once more. I need you to tell me that everything will be alright.

Destination Life

The things that keep you going for so far will remain the things that keep you going, no matter what changes.

Do What I Can Do

Blimey! I haven't post anything yet since Saturday? Unbelievable! Well, actually, you can believe it...this is so like me, coming now and then with my updates and suddenly, poof! I am a silent blogger once again - kind of.

Hmm...let's recap the things I've done so far. Last Saturday, I went to watch Half Blood Prince in DP. Out of the two places here downtown, I prefer the GSC in DP as compared to that in MP. It's like going to the GSC in 1B and the old one, near Cathay. But of course, if they have Cathay here, forget GSC, I would have gone to the former. Okay, so my classmate, Anysz gave me his tickets to the movies because he was going back to JB, thanks to the influenza thing - but we (Tijan and I) didn't make it in time so we brought tickets to the next show. HBP barely started when we entered the hall.

Now on with the movie...as an avid reader of the series, I, of course, have my own expectations for the movie and as someone who has watched movie adaptations right from the first one, the Philosopher's Stone, I too, know that there will be a bit of disappointment. I know we can't expect the movie to play exactly like the novel, which would be crazy enough and budget-breaking.

So there's the love thing between Ron "Won-won" and Lavender which sparkles up Hermione's jealousy and Harry's on Ginny and Dean Thomas' affection with each other. With Voldermort on the move, I find it reassuring that they could still fall in love with one another - but then again, don't we all? It's just that, Lavender cheated! It was so unfair of her to use Love Potion on Ron (come to think of it, I wonder if I can brew one myself...you never know when it's gonna' be handy..ah, forget it!).

And Draco (oh, Draco) was pretty emotional in this movie. Won't you be if the Dark Lord chose you to take your father's place - your father who has failed him and he picked you to finish his job, just to have fun, knowing that you don't really have the guts to do real evil? Well-thought, Voldy! But Draco's pretty skinny and lanky in HBP, while Harry and Ron seemed to be a bit "tougher".

I was, of course, awaiting Snape's appearance throughout the show so yeah, I got a pretty good glimpse of him. I wonder why I kind of like his character, Malfoy second and Ron third. Never seemed to be so caught on Potter.

The quidditch match was incredible! And you know what, I never said that this was going to be a review so enough said. It's better if you watch the movie yourself and then splurge out your comments & critiques on it. I wanted to see Dumbledore's funeral because in the book, it was really grand and I wanted to watch it but then again, like I mentioned above, that would be budget-breaking.

I left the hall quite satisfied and looking forward to watch the final movie which will be a two-parter, each taking about 2 - 2 1/2 hours. The first part is aimed for release November 2010 and the second part, the November after. And this time, I must admit, I really am anticipating it. Someone give me a time machine please!

On second thought, never mind...

Free Week, Eh?

Guess everyone heard about my campus and its affairs with H1N1...yeah, people back home surely did. And then come all sorts of questions...Well, at least I am happy to say that for the week - yes, no classes, no lectures for ONE DAMN WEEK (and probably hell after that) - I'm staying at Kath's house downtown. Met her housemates and so far, they're really nice. Being downtown, I can't complain much, you see.

If my campus was downtown and I were to rent a house somewhere nearby, I would be happy and probably, lose a bit of my homesickness, say, 5%? I don't mind sitting at Starbucks and surfing the whole day long :) That should be a compliment to them, mind you.

Here, I can't really use my broadband 'cause the coverage ain't pretty good but they do have wireless so yeah, I'll probably get up early everyday and surf while they're still asleep la... Out of respect, yes. And shower in the morning. And find some place to feed myself off, yes.

Oh, did I mention quite recently how I miss THAT particular someone?

...'cause I really do...bite me!

Funny Little World

I'm back in campus and today marks the third day. H1N1 is certainly sparkling things up around here. I'm just grateful I don't have CO today, thanks to the flu.

Know what? I guess I'll pretty much spend more time either alone or with my textbooks this semester. Of course, the notebook won't be abandoned. What more, I brought colour pencils from home and a sketchpad so that should pretty much satisfy my Muse. She's been haunting me. Talking about my Muse, I think my courses for this semester would keep her in place.

Like I said before, I'm glad to see my classmates again because they make campus life less dull. I'm not really excited with my new roommates. One of them was a former roommate that I really click with last semester. The other two are juniors. One of them likes anime! I guess I can get along with her. The other one is a bit reserved...the annoying way. And I ended up calling "him" to complain about it...which reminds me really, I miss him...

My lecturers are all okay. They seemed great. Campus is a bit overcrowded now, what with the first intake students roaming about. If you know me, you certainly know that I'm not fond of large crowds. They really are suffocating me. No, I don't have agoraphobia. I don't fear. I just don't like it. Here. I don't. I like crowds, when they are my friends or family. I am a rather sociable person. The more we gather, the better. But here? No, thank you.

You might not believe this is coming from me (but then again, it is so obvious)...I want to go home. Especially since that someone isn't here with me in person, which is kind of hard. Imagining life without that someone is unthinkable...no, I'm not expecting too much (am I?). I'm just, you know, after all this while, I actually care for someone other than myself and that particular someone makes me care about others other than myself...yes, truth to be told, I only love myself before. Talk about being snobbish haha :)

And now, I like kids. I hate them before.

There you go, another random rambling.

Now This is Not Exciting

Exactly at noon today, which is surprisingly 15 minutes earlier than our scheduled arrival, yours truly is officially in KL now. And as I can see it, the masked-people has invaded Earth. But not really in M'sia. Most of us still walk freely as if the influenza thing never really happened. Got me thinking, are we either ignorant of the fact or immune to to it? Maybe a little bit of both, no?

Dad decided to take the bus instead of the cab. It's way cheaper after all and I don't have to hear the driver blab, which is a bonus. I can't wait to meet my classmates next week but frankly, that's the only reason I don't mind going back to campus. Come to think of it, that's the only appropriate reason for me to come back, that and some other personal ones like someone telling me that I should complete my studies for maybe a little more secure future. Hey, giving up is so not in my life dictionary - although I may complain much about this and that and whatsoever anything else.

What?

I have a life to attend to. Education is just one of the keys I need. And as far as I'm concerned, I don't have any problem with it. I'm starting to miss home already...

What am I to do in the next couple of hours, I have no idea. Stuck in the airport W/O STREAMYX is a total hell!

See Through

Dear blog,

I'm sorry I've neglected you for a while. I didn't mean to just leave you like that. It's just that...I am rather busy of late. Perhaps the thought of heading back to campus is haunting me. Tormenting me. There are so many things I want to say to him but I just can't. It's really hard for me.

Blog,

Excuse me for a little longer. I won't abandon you like I did the others (well, not really). I just need to settle something so that my soul will be at peace (on second thought, forget it)...

Yours truly

Okay! Enough with all the mushy crap! It is true that I've been quite busy recently, thanks to me procrastinating. And yeah, I seriously do hate the cunning fact that I've to go back to campus in order to earn my life in the near future...sheesh! I want to stay at home because it's where my heart is.

Oh well.

Anyway, most of my high school friends are in the WM. Does not make much difference though 'cause as much as I want to spend time with them, I can't. Double sheesh on that.

Memories Were Meant to be Kept

...most of the time.

The Sunday school staffs of SHCI decided to go for an outing with their families after the communion week. They do deserved it because the feast day celebration was good. Now, what I'm about to say is not something to be proud of really, but it seems that my people have a knack of doing things at the very last minute and we actually do well at it! But hush! Don't tell them I say that :)

So anyway, we went to the Crocker Range Reserved something (I don't really know what it's called. Heh.) yesterday, after mass. I decided to bring one of my students (former, really, because they are now in a different class), Audrey who is also my niece. Well, everyone's related in Inobong, can't blame us for that. Elise will obviously be there since her mom is one of the staffs and I thought it's a good thing to let them, the two kids, have fun with each other, together with the other staffs' kids (who are also no strangers after all). Who said I don't care about them? Just because I'm stranded in Malacca for my studies doesn't mean I have to neglect my students, right?

You know what? I'd really love to blog about everything else that happened yesterday but then again, they are just too precious to actually blog about. Yeah, I'm stingy but hey, go figure. Yesterday was one of the happiest days in my life so far.

Why, you ask?

Think lar ~

*wink*

Oh, by the way, happy birthday to Jon2! Thanks for paying off my first sem! Hey, I got into the Dean's list so every cent was worth it...

Down, Down That Walk Again

There is no excuse for the lack of updates lately because I am at home and as everyone knows it, the connection is pretty damn good! The only possible excuses I can think of would be either I am too lazy to update at the moment or I am busy with Life, of which I'd gladly pick out the latter.

The current buzz? Jacko's dead. Who would have thought that the day will come? Well, of course there's the time for everyone but this early? I don't think the world was ready to part with the King of Pop...and do I actually care? Nah. Jacko doesn't know me, and I, him. It's just a pity that one of the world's icons has gone to rest and join the departed others.

Anyways, what have I been up to recently? What was it that got me so attached to real life that I temporarily forgot about my darling blog? I guess I got caught up too much in mourning my soon-to-come departure...yes, once again, I will allow myself to be eaten by that lifeless metal of a bird so that it carries me over the South China Sea, a trip I'm never looking forward to. Bummer. Who's ever so eager to leave home sweet home? (I was, in the first place...) I have successfully proven myself wrong. There!

I went to 818 restaurant in town last Monday for a dinner with my high school friends. Frankly, I miss them loads! Everyone looked so grown up now and I got to know two pairs of love birds - one of them being my very own cousin, Maya. As always, a picture is worth a thousand words so feast yourselves.

Going home was an extra boost of happiness :) I miss all my friends. How can I not be? I may be quite sociable but as I've always said, I'm my own irony. I love meeting new people and build my acquaintanceship circles up but in reality, I can live my entire life with just these few but cherished friends of mine. It is true what they say, nothing beats high school!

With loads of xoxo to my friends :) Love you lots and thanks for the wonderful time!

Fake Smiles and Lies

In the uttermost confession of yours truly, truly this blog serves as a darling mask I seem to never be able to take off. Of course, this is a family blog, as I say it and therefore, only certain pieces would be written down here. Don't blame me for that.

So I've been taking quizzes all over the Net and I keep getting Love-related results which ironically, seem a bit far-fetched. They do portray the reality of being me however but I realized lately that apart from my Victorian romancer self, there is still a part of me dreaming of dragons and elves. Sue Mr Disney for the failure to educate me as a typical princess-kind-of-girl who dreams of Prince Charming and a happily ever after with a snap of the fingers or a wave of the fairy Godmother's wand.

I dream of dragons and elves and drows and necromancers. Wizards and all. Angels and demons. Michael and Lucifer. I dream of myself in continuous dreams some people call insane. Crazy. I don't aim for the richer half of life but the simple, quiet yet happy life. I don't dream of adventures. I dream of family outings and fun. I don't dream of making it big. I dream of big hearts in the family. I dream differently and people say I'm cold, sarcastic - just the way I want them to.

So I'm in love. Yes. Deeply in love. It's obvious. Yes. Kinda dreamy. Yes. Kinda impossible. Yes. Certainly not a fairytale kind of romance. Yes.

But I need to write something! Anything! For goodness sake, let me! The feeling's just overwhelming and it's building up tension within me, fueling an already dormant tension...Love, love, love - a blessing, a curse, or both. I can't live without it but it's killing my spirit.

The worst part of it?

I love being in love with the man I'm currently in love with.....

There!

Period.

A confession.

A secret.

My own.

The hardest thing about life is that those simple things are really not so simple after all. It's much easier to live a rich life, do the things you want to do with all the cash and party hard.

It's the hardest to say, with the current life you're living, that you are perfectly content, satisfied and happy.

I'm human after all, just like everyone else.

Life could be better.

But I wouldn't dream of it any other way.

SHC Feast Day cum 1st Holy Communion 09

Mass celebration: Sacred Heart Church Inobong

Time: 6.00pm ++
Communicants' follow-up reception: ICCC Hall
Celebrant: Fr. Alex Sipanul :)

Friday 19th, 2009 - yesterday will be one of the many dates I'd remember in my life. I mean, why not? Three of my Sunday school students received their 1st Holy Communion last night, which is something I must say, I am very proud of. The downside of it was that I can't really get into the mood of singing with the choir because of my hoarse voice...of all the ministries serving the Church, I'm really fond of the music ministry (although somehow I seem to take a little interest in the Altar servers :p).

So, when I can't sing with the choir, I'm really grumpy...

I really love the sunset lighting yesterday eve but frankly, I was distracted, as usual :)

Two of the three students I taught last year, Elise and Sam. Audrey went home earlier...but I did get a photo of her receiving her Communion cert.

Well, at least those are the other highlights of the day. What was it that made me really happy? Go figure. Warmest congratulations to the communicants and their teachers :D God bless.

That Urge Again

I thirst for it...

I hunger for it...

I yearn for it to devour me completely...

Lately, my Muse began to put up a strike against me. It wasn't intended to keep her off from working but I just didn't have the right platform (I think...) - and now, she's on strike. If she preferred to hold her piece, it might be some help. Instead, she decided for the other way round...

Frankly I say, "I want to write! Something! Anything! Let me write!"

Well, yeah, who's stopping me?

...

.....

.......

Myself? Yeah, kind of. Time to open a new document.

Entry # 44

Urgh.

I hate my first days of menses. I feel weak in the knees, literally. Very.

Drats.

Celebrating Father's Day

It seems to me that it is becoming a habit to have the families gather at home. Since I came back from the WM, we had 3 so-called gatherings. Imagine last year! As I've mentioned earlier, I love having everyone around...

Last night's was for Father's Day and supposedly celebrating the birthday folks of June. This time, cousins Phil and Geoffrey came with their families. Mr & Mrs Uncle Denis came too. Preparing for it was a bit hard because we were babysitting Didun and Nyonnyon + I was sick, coughing a lot now and then. That wouldn't be very pleasing right...Luckily, my aunt's family came early so yeah, they helped around! Thanks!

In the end, everything went as planned (I think), with them reminiscing about their pasts as usual, watching muvees and laughing all night long...

But in truth, there's still something missing from it all... I don't know what it is but it sure made me vow to myself that I will keep having gatherings when I can till that "missing" part is found. Talking about missing, G couldn't come tonight again because he was busy doing his reports. I don't mind 'cause I know him well enough to sulk about it. I just kinda' wished I had the guts to fetch his dad so he could join us...

I miss you, you idiot! If only I can say that to his face it might make me feel much better...sometimes he's just so clueless when I really wish he would be there with all of us but then again, maybe he really does know me so well, too well that he actually knows the harder he plays around with me, the harder I fall for him...guess that's how his saying "I won't be there when you want me to be but only when you do need me" goes. Another lesson reminded. I need to keep asking myself, "Why him???" Drats...

...because I love the very air of having everyone around. I love my family!

And They Say Songs are Stories Sung

1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
- Only so much oil in the ground (Stefanie Heinzmann) That's something I surely would say, kinda sarcastic but you get my point

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
- My turn (Hoobastank's For (N)ever) Turn for what exactly?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
- Forever (Milk Inc.) Now this one, I agree with. I want a "forever" with a guy *wink*

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
- Love lies bleeding (Basia) Love hurts huh? But I'm still alive with it :)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
- Outta here (Esmee Denters) Outta where?

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
- My one and only thrill (Melody Gardot) Guess I'm a bit random

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
- Stayed too long in this place (Barzin) Judging from the fact that I don't really spend much time with them...I think

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
- There's a new star up in heaven tonight (Chris de Burgh) :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
- Horse with no name (Neil Young) Hahaha

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
- Sailing (Christopher Cross) Calm and collected on the seas of Life!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
- The way you are (Zap Mama) As I should always be - and you too!

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
- Tears in heaven (Eric Clapton) One way ticket to heaven, please :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
- One of us (Sylver) "Us"?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
- All about you (Hoobastank) Aww ~

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
- La chitta digli occhi neri (Corde Oblique) ...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
- Recreation (Zap Mama) Recreate what?

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
- Picking up pieces (Blue October) ...of my past...

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
- Me follow you (Van Velzen) wherever you will go :)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
- If I don't love you now (Stefanie Heizmann) I'll never know Life, right dear?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIEND?
- Live her life (Milk Inc.) My friends have awesome lives! XD

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
- After the love has gone (Earth, Wind and Fire) ...which is like, urmm, never?

Small World

Since yours truly don't really read the newspapers, I've decided to educate myself on world issues online, as always. Somehow I tend to surf news websites for random readings lately. In fact, I do random web-hopping, blogs included. But I manage to fight the temptation of bookmarking every single page I seem to like at the mo.

What caught my attention of late is the infamous swine flu or as any typical human brain knows it for it's scientific abbreviation, H1N1 - which is now declared as the first pandemic of the 21st century, as according to Dr Chan. (Beat that! I actually read the news, doesn't matter if it's online or not.)

Now then, with the knowledge bestowed upon me, allow me to actually enlighten myself (and some of you folks perhaps) about the pandemic flu:

1. It's Swine Influenza actually, H1N1 is just one of the four virus subtypes of influenza type A (H1N1, H1N2, H3N2, H3N1).
2. Common cases are due to exposure to infected pigs, naturally, or from one person spreading it to others.
3. Symptoms include fever, lethargy, lack of appetite and coughing. Some people with swine flu also have reported runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea.
4. When you're being too close with infected pigs, you might catch it. If you touch any infected stuffs and then touching your nose or mouth after, you might catch it. Eating pork won't give it to you, provided that you cook it first! (As any sane human would...)

Okay ~ I'm done with that. Some news for vain Facebook users (including moi), we will soon be able to have our own FB URLs! Now isn't that a bliss? Oh well ~ and what more? I got 3.82 for my first semester, which I think is really good, judging from the fact that I never *really studied* throughout the semester. Therefore, I'd like to thank my brothers for getting me "Ryan the laptop", the Celcom broadband so I won't die of boredom, my family for going on Skype with me EVERY week and G, for being there for me (through SMSes) almost everyday.

They keep me sane and my brain active, not rotting away.

Hah!